


Life Changer

by Okami01



Series: Felix Week2020 [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comfort, Felix Week (Fire Emblem), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: Felix is alright. There are still a lot of things he doesn't understand. That he questions and its frustrating. Maybe Byleth can help him. Prompt for Felix Week - Loyalty
Relationships: Blue Lions Students & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Felix Week2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1643653
Kudos: 19





	Life Changer

Why was he here? Felix kept asking himself that question. Over and over again. And it was really starting to irritate him. Every time Dimitri asked him to spar. The sickly sweet scent of Mercedes's pastries or Annette's cooking. Whatever strange tea or thankfully less sweet biscuits Byleth wanted to eat with him. Trying not to listen to Ashe's knight tales. Getting dragged out by Sylvain to help pick up girls. Helping Ingrid groom her pegasus. Helping Dedue garden. Everyone wanted something from him. Why? Why did they care if he spent time with them at all? 

Felix didn't understand and he thought it was all a waste of time. 

Byleth was worried about him. Seteth told him to stop pushing away his friends. One day, Byleth asked him to stay after class. He rifled around through his desk and silently gave Felix a small book. Titled, "Self Help and Coping Mechanisms."

" I don't need this," Felix said. He tried to give it back. Byleth shook his head and pushed it forward.   
" Just in case you ever feel like reading it, hold onto it ok?"

" Fine," he said shoving it into his pants pocket and storming out the room. Felix didn't need help. That's just how things were. His time was better-spent training. A sword was more useful than a book like that, only telling you how to think. It hardly mattered anyway.

Still, something kept him from immediately throwing the book in the trash the first chance he got. Maybe it was because Byleth gave it to him and the older man kind of reminded him of his brother. Even so, Felix kept the book in his pants pocket days later.  
______  
The book says to do things that he liked. Not that he actually wanted to read it. But he did. Because Byleth had asked him to and he generally knew what he was talking about. 

So, obviously, he practiced his sword fighting. He sparred with whoever he could. There was no change. Which was annoying. He'd wasted his time reading for nothing.

In the dead of the night, he started to return to his dorm room. A stray cat walks by him, getting closer to him, purring. Felix tries to quietly walk past it. Ignoring the cat and its warm soft fur might just not be possible. 

Felix squats down and scratches the black furry feline behind its ears. He does not resort to baby talk, as it were. The cat purrs and he smiles. They both let it go on until they're satisfied. The cat yawns as if it's been doing something that would warrant a yawn. Then it walks away leaving Felix to continue his walk alone.

There's no one to admit it to, thankfully, but he liked doing that.

_________  
Felix continues to do things that he likes, slightly different from his usual routine. The next day, he started to run around the monastery. Which was probably a mistake, because his thoughts only seemed to worsen in his mind. 

" Why?" The question burned in the back of his mind. Scorching a path until it and the other terrible things clouded the rest of his thoughts.

Why did Glenn have to die? Why was his father such a fool? Why was Faerghus such a chivalry obsessed place? Why did Felix enroll in the place anyway? His focus on his swords and martial arts never fading. 

Felix didn't want to die. Of course, he didn't. So he fought. Why did he want to get stronger? He wasn't going to die on the battlefield. And why was he on the battlefield in the first place? Because surely, with his talent, he'd be a good mercenary. 

Yet here he was at Garreg Mach. Helping Dimitri. Part of the Blue Lions. Which felt wrong in a way, but there he was anyway. 

Deep down Felix knew it was because they were his friends. Even when he was blunt or acted cold they didn't push him away. 

He's run only a little ways away outside of the monastery before he realizes it. He stops and catches his breath. Staring out into the afternoon sun. 

He groans and flips through the self-help book that Byleth gave him. There's a page that says to voice your grievances. Out here, where no one can hear him, it seems kind of feasible. 

" They're my friends, and I care about them. I'll fight for them. But I have no interest in dying for them. That's why chivalry can be damned for all I care. No one should die for anyone."

He unsheathes his sword and swings it. Letting out an angry cry as he does. The rage that he was filling fades away a bit. Tears that he hadn't noticed before stream down from his face. He wipes them away. Somehow, he thinks he might have needed this. That he might feel a little better.

Felix still feels kind of foolish standing out here in the middle of the woods talking to himself. So he starts walking back.   
He reads the book as he goes because he isn't going to read any more of it back there. 

In the book, there's another page about showing people you care about them. Felix may never be able to tell them corny things like that directly. And the sun is nearly setting by the time he gets back. 

Felix stops at the market and buys some little cakes and tea leaves. When he gets back to his classroom, Byleth and the others have pretty much wrapped things up for the day. 

He walks through the door, hearing the hushed and overly concerned whispers as he does. 

" Are you ok?" Dimitri asks " You missed the entire day."  
Felix sets the bag down and pulls out the cake. " I was training. Thanks. I'm fine. Eat this stuff if you want."

Sylvain laughs. " Who are you and what did you do with the real Felix?" 

Annette jumps up and takes a cake. " Well, whatever happened I think it's nice."

They're happy and crazily enough, he's happy that they're happy. There's a warm feeling in his chest that he's tried to push down before. It actually feels good.

Byleth looks at him and gives him the slightest smile. Maybe self-help books can be helpful after all. Maybe he'd have to go back and try to find that cat again.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Felix Week! Thanks for reading! I'm a proud supporter of Felix ( and the Blue Lions in general) needing consulting. I'm a proud supporter of Felix crying in every fic I write him in.  
> @Tavitay - on twitter


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